By Robert J. Wetherall
Al Qaeda Worldwide and its Taliban subsidiary have launched plans for an Initial Public Offering to raise operating capital for its new chain of bakeries: Talibuns.
Company spokesmen stated that company bakers have succeeded in developing a shelf-stable pastry that will appeal to the taste of western infidels.
They described Talibuns as single serving pastries served warm, dripping with butter and white frosting. Along with the iconic pastries, Talibun outlets will also offer a line of complimentary snacks and beverages, including Americano coffee, camphor, and betel juice.
Al Qaeda Bakery Ltd’s U.S. distributor, Corky Carruthers, said the Al Qaeda entrance into the Western fast-snack market is further evidence of a subtle change in Al Qaeda’s quest to win over the hearts of Americans.
Mass beheadings, live burials and acid-dipping will also play a role in the company’s western marketing plans.
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